My care team is a robot. How does that make me feel?
I am suspicious of any email that begins by addressing me by my full name which I haven't ever used except since 9/11 paranoia set in.
Hello Howard Granville Cunningham, you have ...
They promise me new information but won't tell me what it is. Somehow I don't think it is very new either since they sent me the same email a month ago.
Please log in to review the new information ...
So they send me to their site but not to the new information. Instead I get more instructions.
After logging in, alerts on the home page under the "You Might Want To..." title provide links to new information ...
For my protection the instructions continue.
Please log out each time you finish using MyChart. This is the most important thing you can do to help keep your information private ...
Then, they close with the big lie about sincerity.
Sincerely, Your Care Team ...
But they are not done yet.
This email was sent from an automated service ...
Or even yet.
Please do not reply to this email ...
Ah, finally my notice comes to conclusion.
This message is intended for the sole use of the addressee, and may contain information that is privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the addressee you are hereby notified that you may not use, copy, disclose, or distribute to anyone the message or any information contained in the message. If you have received this message in error, please immediately advise the sender by reply email and delete this message.
213 words in all. 1347 characters. 10x twitter's limit. Says only that they have worked hard on their web site and want me to use it.
See Hate-Selling Our Students for more terrible things we ask programmers to do to those we claim to help.